I Don't Do it Often...

But sometimes, I just have to rock my baby girl until she is fast asleep and dreaming. I rocked her to sleep A LOT when she was dealing with painful reflux as an infant and it was the only way she'd sleep. After she was put on the right medication and was no longer in pain, I knew she needed to learn how to fall asleep on her own. And she did, the very first time. I was thankful on one hand, sad on the other. I know she doesn't need to depend on anything like rocking or a bottle or her momma (sigh) to put her to sleep. However, I missed rocking her to sleep oh so much. I'd still rock her every night, of course, but I'd put her down before she closed her eyes. So, now I allow myself one night a week (ok,ok sometimes two) to rock my baby completely to sleep. It's without a doubt the highlight of my week.

       (Click on any photo to enlarge)

We read, I rock, I sing. And continue to rock and sing after she falls asleep. Here is my inner dialogue just about every time:

                         I see the moon, and the moon sees me, and the moon sees somebody I'd like to see...

Oh my, Lord. She is even more beautiful today than she was yesterday. Isn't she?
I love her more today, too. How is that even possible?
She takes my breath away. Seriously, I just forgot to breathe.
Thank you, Lord, for our healthy, smart, beautiful baby girl.
I think I'll sing just one more song.
My heart is so full.
Look how big she's gotten, Lord.
Soon, she'll be so big that she won't want me to rock her anymore.
Oh, no. Don't cry. Don't.
Too late.
Please, Lord, don't let one of my tears fall on her and wake her.
How did something this perfect come from my body?
I love her so much. I would die for her, willingly.
Wow. So, this is how much my mother loves me?
I am so undeserving of such an indescribably powerful love.
And Lord, you love all of us even more than this.
I think my heart might explode.
Deep breath.
I love the way she stirs, occasionally in my arms but doesn't wake.
She knows her momma's got her. She knows she is safe.
Leighton, you are just so perfect. So beautiful. And you are all ours.
You look so much like your daddy. And oh, how you love him. And he loves you.
I have got to stop crying.
Ok, one last song.

                        God bless the moon, and God bless me, and God bless the somebody I'd like to see. 

Then, after I sing that last song, I place her gently in her crib. On her belly with her head against the bumper, just the way she likes it. She stirs, realizing she has been put down. She goes right back to dreaming, such a  good baby. I wipe away the hot tears staining my cheeks. I physically get down on my knees on the adorable pink rug just in front of her crib. And I pray. For her health. For her relationship with Christ. For her future husband, and his relationship with Christ. For so many more things. I say, "amen." I kiss her softly on the top of her head. I marvel at how big she is beginning to look in her crib. And I cry again.

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing

will wait 'till tomorrow,

but children grow up,

as I've learned to my sorrow. 

So, quiet down, cobwebs.

Dust, go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby,

Babies don't keep. 

-Ruth Hulburt Hamilton  

Leighton's Life- 6 Months Old

                                                        Happy 6 Month Old

I am not sure how it's possible that I have a 6 month old. I guess time flies when you are having fun, and this sure has been a fun month! Leighton's personality is just shining through and I am thrilled that we have such a sweet baby who will smile and talk to anyone willing to listen (including inanimate objects like her toys).

We had her 6 month well baby check up yesterday and it was great! The day did not begin well, though, because on the way to the Dr. office I witnessed a hit and run between 2 vehicles. I was STUNNED that someone would actually leave the scene of an accident they were involved in. So, since I couldn't stop to make sure the gentleman was alright, I called 911 immediately and reported it. I tried to catch up with the runaway vehicle but he was too fast and I would have missed our turn. I hope the police will find him.

As I was saying, the appointment itself was great! Leighton is 25 1/4 inches long (45th percentile) 15.1 lbs (30th percentile) and her head circumference is 16 3/4 (55th percentile). I was elated when Dr. M said "wow, good job momma she is almost the size of an average full-term baby her age!" I started to tear up because it has been a long, hard journey to get her to this point but it has been so worth it. Also, it's such a blessing not only to have a great pediatrician but one who thinks and parents the way I do. Some of the things he says are exactly the things I think. It's hard to explain but the point it, he is awesome.

We discussed her still-present reflux. He says that since she is now cleared for stage 2 foods and will be taking in more solids that the reflux should begin to subside, as it is harder to spit up solids. He wants to try taking her off of the Prevacid on October 1st, unless of course she miraculously stops spitting up before then, and see how she does. I am nervous and excited about that.

I am excited because I can't wait for my daughter to know what it's like the eat without throwing it all back up. An added bonus, we will no longer have to go through the routine of dissolving the pill in water, pulling it in to the syringe, having it get stuck, pouring it out, and repeating. I am nervous because the last thing I want to do is go back to the days where all she did was scream in pain. If that is the case in October when we wean her off, it will probably take a good week to get it back in her system to where she is not in pain. Please begin praying for us on this matter.

Leighton's eyes, ears, and mouth all looked fine. She hit all 6 month milestones. Dr. predicts her first tooth soon (which I already figured) as her bottom gums are bulging a bit. He says we can gradually begin giving her a sippy cup. We'll see how that goes, as this month she figured out and notices what the bottle is and what it's for. She goes crazy when she sees a bottle, or anything resembling one. She has some dry patches of skin on her back which is odd because we always put lotion on her after her bath. Dr. M gave us some better lotion for free so we are trying that.

She got another round of shots, which she was not happy about, of course. However, I can promise you I hated it more because I knew she was much more aware of what was going on than she ever had been and I had to hold her little arms down. I only watched the nurse jab her once with a needle (by accident) and I almost lost my breakfast. I just cannot stand needles or my baby being in pain. She was a trooper though, only cried for a little while, took down the liquid vaccine (Rotavirus) and then passed out asleep in her car seat. She slept well the rest of the day and hasn't had any allergic reactions to any shots thus far. Luckily, her 9 month appointment only involves a finger stick for blood work, no shots!!

Highlights of Month 6:

Leighton tried a few more solid foods (aside from carrots and rice cereal) this month. She tried sweet potatoes and apple sauce (the apple sauce is mixed in with her rice cereal so as not to make it too sweet). The sweet potatoes were home made by yours truly. I just wrapped them in aluminum foil and baked them in the oven on 400 degrees for about an hour. Then peeled off the skin and put them in to the food processor. It was super easy.

The apple sauce I just bought from the store. Not the tiny, expensive Gerber jars, mind you, but the big container of store brand apple sauce in which the only ingredients were apples and water. It was less than $2 and to home make apple sauce would be pretty pricey as apples are pretty expensive. Leighton also tried green beans for the first time yesterday. I am happy to report that she seems to love all the foods she has tried, especially the vegetables. This makes me so happy! My goal is for her to be a much better eater than I am. Oh, and she finally figured out what to do with her tongue a couple of weeks ago and I love it that she now opens her mouth for the spoon now and licks her lips wanting more.

Leighton got sick for the first time this month. She got a mild ...cold, I guess is what I'd call it, but the only thing that was wrong with her was her nose was very stopped up. So, I'd just use a bulb syringe to get the yuckiness out about 5 times a day and use a home made saline solution of 8 oz warm water and a tsp of salt, a couple of those times. I checked her temperature constantly but she never had a fever and she was never overly fussy so I didn't have to give her any medication, I am not a big believer in medicating children just because. I also rubbed baby Vicks on her before naps and bedtime to comfort her. Within a week, it was gone.

Leighton is still sleeping between, give or take, 10 hours at night. She is always down by 8 (sometimes before) and she is usually up at 6. I love that she sleeps so well. Now, I'll just be glad when she figures out how to put her own paci back in her mouth so I don't have to get up a few times during the night to slip it back in.

During her 6th month she was still getting a little formula on top of the breast milk. Since we would be mixing breast milk, formula and rice cereal we referred to them her cocktails.

She is really starting to figure out how to "play" with her toys. She will shake them and pass them from hand to had and, of course, chew on them. She is so smart and has figured out how to work every toy and button on her jumperoo and boy, can she jump in it! She just jumps and laughs, it's precious.

She is trying SO hard (and succeeding a little) to hold her bottle by herself, sit up, and roll from back to front. She hasn't completely mastered any of them yet but she keeps on trying. I think her chunky thighs are preventing her from the back to front roll.

                                                       Cousins: Will and Leighton

Leighton's first younger cousin was born this month! Alesha, and her husband, Tim welcomed their son, William Timothy, on August 4th at 11:35 p.m. He was 9 lbs 21 inches. He is beautiful and Leighton just LOVED getting to meet him. Had he been born after midnight then he and Leighton would have been exactly 6 months apart, but I think it's close enough. I love that the cousins will be so close in age.

She attended her first baby shower (for someone other than herself) this month. My very best friend, Shannon, will be welcoming her son some time next month! We had a great time at the shower and are SO excited to meet baby Hutton!

Leighton's Favorites This Month:

She still loves a bath more than anything (and loves splashing in the water)

She loves having her clothes and diaper changed (thank goodness, because with reflux we change clothes a lot!)

She loves when mommy sings to her.

She loves to talk, smile, and laugh at any and every friendly face. I guess, for now, it's a good thing that she will go to anyone.

The only times she is fussy is when she is tired, hungry, bored, has a dirty diaper or tummy troubles. She is generally a very happy baby.

She loves to play with her feet.

Leighton, if I had written down my ideal child on paper you have far surpassed my wildest dreams. You are the smartest and sweetest baby. I can't believe you are already half a year old. You have no idea how much you are loved, precious girl. It's virtually impossible for anyone to be in a bad mood around you. All you have to do is flash that smile or start babbling and we all go to mush. I thank God for you every day, for you are the biggest and best blessing I have ever received.

Rolling Along- 5 Months Old

This 5th month has made me realize how true it is when people talk about how quickly children change. You hear it all of the time but you never fully understand it until you are a parent watching your own child grow by leaps and bounds every day!

Leighton has grown almost 2 entire inches (now almost 25 inches long) and has gained over a pound (now almost 14 lbs) this month! (These are by my measurements as there is no Dr. visit for 5 months.)

She is eating two bowls of rice cereal a day (for breakfast and lunch!) She isn't eating the full 4 tbs which is a complete "serving" but she eats around three. She is still having a little difficulty figuring out what she is supposed to do with her tongue when she eats but she's getting better every day. I love that she get covered head to toe in cereal. It's hilarious!

She is reaching for things deliberately, now. Before, she would swat at things willy-nilly, not really comprehending but now she is reaching for everything! Her favorites are: her toys hanging from her baby gym, and faces, especially mommy's.

She is eating a tiny bit of formula now, to my dismay. I wanted her to be solely on breast milk until they put her on whole milk, but hey, what are you going to do when your child is growing as fast as our is and your body just can't keep up? Starve her? I think not. She only needs a few ounces a day. Really, if we try to put more than an ounce or two in her bottle she can tell the difference and she pitches an absolutely horrifying tantrum won't drink it. Yikes. For now, the occasional ounce is working, I just hope she doesn't start needing more than that because if she does and won't drink it who knows what we will do. We'd appreciate some prayers thrown our way on this issue! Also, if any on you mommas have some good tips on how to up the breast milk production, I am all ears. I already: drink more water than ten average Americans put together; take a prenatal every day, take Fenugreek herbal supplement (which does help, I might add), don't over do it on going out in the heat or exercising (I am really concerned with losing this baby weight, eh?), I eat enough calories, and I have heard the warm wash cloth trick, just haven't tried it yet.

She is ROLLING FROM FRONT TO BACK! Woohoo! I was shocked the first time she did it, she acted like she had been doing it all along. It didn't scare or upset her, she was just kind- of ...indifferent. And she did it over and over and over. I was loving it and she was looking at me like "what's the big deal mom?" I have a video on this too...hopefully one day you will all get to see it! She doesn't do it all the time now, just randomly. I knew the day would come when I'd go to get her up from her nap and she'd be on her back (since she is a stomach sleeper). Well, that happened just the other day. I glanced down at the baby monitor to check on her and something looked strange. I did a double take and realized she was on her back, just staring at the ceiling, not even fussing.

She is understanding more and more who I am. Now, when she is in her crib, swing, etc. and I come in to the room to get her, she immediately lights up, smiles, laughs, and kicks her legs. It absolutely melts me.

She still has severe reflux. Some days it feels like it is never going to end, though I know it eventually has to. We are praying that she will be like most babies and will grow out of it by 6 months. We would appreciate your continued prayers.

We have started other solid foods aside from the rice cereal. I am homemaking her baby food. It's SO much cheaper than jarred baby food, and healthier too! A win-win in my book. The first thing she tried were some homemade carrots! They were so easy to make. I just washed, peeled, and chopped a bag of carrots; put a 1/2 inch of water in a skillet; brought water to boil, added carrots; covered; boiled for about 6 minutes; threw carrots in food processor; pureed them; added water as needed to soften and voila! Homemade baby food. Then I used ice cube trays that I bought at the grocery store and filled up each cube with carrots which equals about an ounce a piece. Just one bag of carrots which cost about $2.50 made 26 ounces of food! That's about 25% of the cost of Gerber. Then, I froze the carrots over-night and popped them out of the ice cube trays. I transferred them to a zip lock bag, labeled them with the date and put them back in the freezer. They will keep for about a month. A few of hours before lunch I take the amount out of the bag I wish to feed her and let it thaw. How simple it that? (Thanks again, Alan Reynolds, for all of your tips!) She seems to like the carrots, just can't figure out her tongue still. It will happen, we are just being patient. Oh- and it amazes me how much the pureed carrots stain! We just feed her in her diaper because the food gets everywhere. No sense in ruining an outfit!

She is still quite the talker. A couple of Sundays ago, when we picked her up from the Church Nursery, one of the workers commented that she had never seen a baby who loved to talk and imitate what you are doing as much as our child! Seriously, I think she talks more than she does anything else. Who knows where she got that from?! ;) Speaking of the church nursery- gone are the days when I worry about her being in there. It didn't take long. The workers are wonderful and just love our sweet girl. One worker actually begged us not to take her home last week! So blessed with such a wonderful church in every way.

She has started to try and grab her feet, though she cannot hold on for very long. I know pretty soon she will be sticking them in her mouth!

She had her first beach visit! She LOVED playing with the sand, I guess she likes discovering how it felt between her hands and toes. She loved the pool equally- she fell asleep in her little float. Someone who shall remain nameless, forgot the camera for this affair so all I had was my phone to take pics which are in the "mobile uploads" album on my Facebook, if you'd like to see them.

She enjoyed her first 4th of July! We had friends over to cook out and then our family of 3 watched fireworks together for the first time. The East Montgomery firework show is put on in an area that sends the fireworks, literally, right at the end of our street (pictured above). We just lay a blanket down in our front yard and enjoy. It's like our own private fireworks show! Leighton was mesmerized the whole.time. She never fussed or anything.

She is a smarty-pants. Since she has started pushing up in to the baby push-ups position she knows exactly which way to look when she wakes up from her nap because she knows what side of the crib mommy picks her up from. (Speaking of sleeping- she sleeps at least 10 hours every night!) She also has come to love the T.V. No, I don't let my 5 month old watch TV but she will get glances of it every now and then when we have it on and all of the sounds and colors fascinate her. When I feed her rice cereal or carrots I face her away from the TV on her boppy while I watch the news or something educational. The little stinker figured out how to turn upside down to see the screen! Now, we have to eat with the TV off.

Her favorite things are still eating, sleeping, bathing and putting everything in her mouth- especially her hands.

 Happy 5 Months, my smart, sweet girl! You are such a happy baby who loves to play and talk and love on everyone! You bless my life daily and I love you so!

Leighton's Life- 4 Months

I cannot even begin to describe the emotions this picture stirs in me. In just 4 ridiculously short months my baby girl has gone from a mere 5 lb 3 ounces 18 inches long teeny tiny newborn to a 12 lb 5 ounces 23 in. long infant. Time has flown so quickly. I have truly cherished every moment with this angel, I make a conscious effort not to take it for granted, even the rough times, and there have been PLENTY of those (more on that later.) I look forward to these next stages of Leighton; trying solid foods, developing her personality more, becoming more active, etc. However, I dearly miss the days where all she wanted to do was snuggle with her momma. I can't help but get misty eyed on days like today when we are sitting in the well baby waiting area of the pediatricians office and a new mommy is bringing her days old baby in for it's first check up. That day for us seems so long ago some times and others, just like yesterday.

Today was Leighton's 4 Month Well Baby Check Up. These are the highlights:

-She is 12 lbs 5 ounces (20th percentile, yay!)
- She is 23 inches (still only 10th percentile but she grew 3.25 inches in 2 mos. the nurse was so stunned she measured her again just to make sure. She will catch up, I'm not worried!)
- Her head is 16 inches around (45th percentile! It's that big brain of hers)
- She got her 2nd round of shots, 3 needles one oral (DTaP, Polio, Hepatitus B, HIB, PCV, and Rotavirus...she hated every second of it but I think it's because she was tired and hungry. I promise I hated it more than she did)
- She has hit all of the 4 month milestones! (Smiling, laughing, focusing, putting hands together)
-She can start being given teethers (How did she get big enough for this?)
- We will start giving her rice cereal on a spoon for breakfast and dinner (while still feeding her her breast milk bottles w/rice cereal the same as we have been.)
- Her reflux is still very much present. Dr. M says that he is hopeful that it will be gone by 6 months.
- In 3 weeks we can start her on orange/yellow veggies! (I am hoping to make all of her baby food myself. It's cheaper and healthier that way)

This passed month Leighton has really discovered her hands. She puts them together, tries to hold her bottle with them, puts them in her mouth all.the.time, and loves to grab on the toys, blankets, burp cloths, her paci, whatever she can get those little hands on. And, of course, she wants to put it all in her mouth. She is laughing and talking so much. I can barely remember a time when she didn't talk because it is constant. She has become very aware of her surroundings. She loves checking out new places. She really enjoys staring at the ceiling fans and the mobiles on her crib and swing. She needs to be entertained constantly. Gone are the days when she could just cuddle in my arms and be content. She wants to be moving and looking around. She drools A LOT. Dr. M says that he believes teeth are in her near future. I am taking a deep breath and bracing myself for that. I didn't have teeth until 8 months so we shall see. She is still on 100% breast milk. I get nervous every day that I am not going to produce enough for her to eat but God keeps providing! We keep a can of formula on hand just in case she ever gets to the point where she wants more than she can get from me. We hope that won't be he case but we aren't going to starve her just because we don't want her to be on formula. She is SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. Can I get an amen from all the mommas out there! Hitting 12 lbs and that rice cereal in her bottle did the trick, just as our Dr. predicted. She has discovered her feet with her eyes. Sometimes she will just stare at them for long periods of time as if she's thinking "what are those?" And speaking of feet she LOVES to kick them and does so often, especially when having her diaper changed. She is doing the baby "push ups" and teeters from side to side so I am sure she will roll front to back any time now. She has complete control of her head, very rarely bobbles.

Some days she looks just like me and others she looks just like her daddy so, I think, she is a good mix of both of us. She is SUCH a happy baby as long as she has had her reflux medication and her gripe water for her severe gas. She will talk to and laugh with just about anyone. We did switch her reflux medication from Zantac to Prevacid. In all honesty, nothing has changed. She still spits up like crazy and Dr. M says she will just have to grow out of it. I cannot wait for the time where I don't have to do laundry every single day.

 Leighton's favorite things are her bath, her swing, rocking, bouncing, talking, and exploring with her eyes, being sung to. She seems to be developing her momma's personality; very social. She smiles the biggest for her daddy and her "Bella."

She hates, having lotion put on her after a bath, car rides when there is no one in the back with her to entertain her, being cold.

Leighton, you just keep growing like a weed and bringing more joy to me daily. I am looking forward to my 5th month with you! I am so blessed that you are healthy and happy and I love you more than you could ever comprehend.

Leighton's Birth Story

I suppose this is kind of "Part 2" of Leighton's Birth Story. If you missed out on the first part you can read it HERE.

On Friday morning, February 4th, at 36 weeks pregnant exactly, I went to my OB apt to find out the results of my last 24 hour culture and to learn where we would be going from there. I soon found out this would be my last OB apt. My blood pressure was still high, as expected, and my protein levels had doubled, once again. At this point, with my protein levels being so high, my OB decided it was time to take action, I needed to be induced as soon as possible. I had gone in to the appointment fully expecting this to be the case and was at peace with it. So, there was nothing left to do but get excited to meet my hopefully healthy daughter very soon. My OB said that waiting any longer to induce would be just waiting for something bad (potentially fatal) to happen. Neither of us wanted to do that, of course. He went ahead and checked me for any effacement/dilation like every other 36-weeker but, as we suspected, I was going to be starting from ground zero. No dilation or effacement. My OB told me to go ahead and go to Labor and Delivery and that it was probably going to be a very long process, likely over 24 hours, and not to be surprised if  I ended up needing a C-section. I said my first of many prayers that this would not be the case.

I got in the car, drove home to get my hospital bag (we literally live 2 minutes away from the hospital) and made phone calls to close friends and family. I drove to the hospital and promptly was checked in to Labor and Delivery room 6. A nurse came in to start my IV and hook me up to the fetal monitors and blood pressure machine. Unfortunately for me, a total needle-phobic person, the nurse blew the first vein she tried to start an IV in, which was, truthfully, one of the most painful moments of the entire birth experience. (I had a really pretty bruise where it happened for a couple weeks afterward.) Luckily, a new nurse attempted the second line and got it right the first time.

Since I couldn't eat anything heavy in case of C-section,  I had a bowl of my my favorite soup A couple hours after I was done eating, at about 4 p.m. we started my first round of Cytotec, a medicine used to help soften your cervix. I wasn't able to start pitocin right away since I was starting with no effacement or dilation. You must wait four hours in between each Cytotec dose so I got my second round at about 8 p.m. after I'd eaten my last (light) dinner. It was ice chips only from that point on. I got my last dose around midnight. (Three rounds is the most they can give a person)

By the second round my Mom, Mark, my "In-Loves," Alesha, and my best friend and her husband were already at the hospital to come and support us. They were able to visit me a few at a time. Also, By the second round I started having very minor contractions and my cervix had thinned a tiny bit. It wasn't as much progress as they were hoping but it was something. The main concern with the Cytotec is monitoring how it affects the baby's hart rate. If it affects it negatively, you immediately must have a C-section. Luckily, Leighton handled it beautifully, and was also doing exactly what she was supposed to with the contractions. She was loving them. Me, not so much.

At this point, they gave me ambien to help me sleep until about 4 a.m. when they would begin the pitocin. The ambien did nothing for me, I guess I was too anxious and excited. I'd get about 30 min of sleep here and there but never actually fell in to a deep sleep. At 4 a.m. they came in to start the pitocin. Now, the concern was how my preeclamptic body would handle the intense contractions the the pitocin would, eventually, cause. They don't take chances with patients with high blood pressure, so I had to have my epidural almost immediately after starting the pitocin, even without being dilated. You don't get the choice of going au natural with preeclampsia (not that I EVER would because as much as I hate needles, I hate pain even more.) Many preeclamptic patients have had seizures that can lead to a stroke once the serious contractions begin. Obviously, we didn't want that to happen. If the contractions affected my BP at all, that meant immediate C-section. So, shortly after starting the pitocin, my anesthesiologist came in to administer my epidural and it wasn't as bad (pain wise) as I had thought it was going to be. (The blown vein hurt so much worse.)

 I was told, once again, that if anything drastic happened with my blood pressure or Leighton's heart rate it would be an automatic C-section. The way they kept telling me this made me assume they were all prepared for me to have C-section, and no one expected me to have a regular old-fashioned delivery. It made me nervous but I just kept praying that God would allow me to give birth to my sweet girl the way I envisioned, which was not in an Operating Room.

The rest of the day was spent having different family members and friends (at this point we had all of our immediate family waiting in the hospital and a few close friends) coming in to visit for a while, eating ice chips, (I cannot even begin to describe how hungry I was) and being checked every couple hours by my sweet nurse who was really rooting for me. God definitely put her on that shift that day for a reason. She was so upbeat and kept me positive that eventually, I would make some progress. However, every time she checked me I was only a "fingertip" amount dilated, not even 1 cm. The C-section chatter continued.

At one point early in the afternoon I got what they call a "hot spot" in my epidural which means that the catheter that they put in your back has migrated to one side and is providing more meds to that side than the other so you end up being able to feel the contractions in one certain spot. I had an awesome nurse anesthetist come in an knock it out with some hard core drugs quickly, so that I didn't have to feel too many of the contractions.

A little later in the afternoon when my nurse came to check me, she excitedly informed me that I was a solid 1 cm dilated and she could call the OB to break my water! I was thrilled. I know it doesn't sound like much progress but after hours of waiting with no real results, I was happy. The OB came in and broke my water but was still very skeptical about my progress. He then informed me that we were now on a more strict time table and that if I hadn't had the baby by midnight, we would be having a C-section. I tried not to get discouraged (and I failed miserably, I did have one meltdown, then I got over it) but I really wanted to ban the term "C-section" from everyone's vocabulary for the rest of the day.

Well, I guess breaking my water was what did the trick because a couple of hours later I was 3.5 cm dilated and, apparently, the first 4 are the toughest for your body and take the longest. The nurses changed shifts and I was sad to see my sweet nurse leave but God really did have the right nurses with me at the right times. My day nurse was so great at keeping me positive and checking on me often. My new nurse was just an incredible nurse period. You know those people who are just "meant" to do something? Well, this young lady was meant to be a nurse. She was also a wonderful Christian woman about to go on a mission trip to Africa.

So, I was pretty happy with my progress but my happiness was soon taken over by intense pain, as my "hot spot" came back. The day shift N.A. was already gone, of course, so a new guy came in to help me. I tried to tell him what she had done earlier but he decided he wanted to try a different, less drastic approach. Well, his idea did not work one bit. So, for the longest hour of my life, I was breathing through some INTENSE contractions.

My nurse came in to check me and this time I was 4.5 cm. Hooray! She noted that I had "excellent breathing control" which made me laugh a little because I have the worst pain tolerance in the world. Thank God for those birthing classes I attended that taught me how to breathe through contractions correctly or I would have been up the creek. My nurse agreed with me that I shouldn't be in that much pain so she called the N.A. back up to my room. This time he listened to me and did what the N.A. from earlier had done. He said if it didn't work they'd have to re-do my epidural. I prayed it would work so we didn't have to do that and 15 min later I was back to feeling nothing and thrilled about it.

Literally 15 min after that I was feeling some serious pressure but I thought, no way could I be that much more dilated. Well as soon as the thought entered my mind my nurse was in the room asking how I was doing and the way she asked it was kind of odd. So, I confessed to feeling a lot of pressure. "How much?" she asked. Too which I replied, "a lot." She said, "I know I just checked you 30 min ago but let's just see again because your daughter is indicating on the monitors that you may be further along now ...ok... well, you are 9.5 cm dilated. Let's get everything ready and by the time we do you will be ready to push!"

WHAT?! I went from 4.5 to 9.5 cm dilated in 30 min?! (Don't hate me for that mom friends, remember, 30 hours of labor.) I was stunned but SO excited. No midnight C-section for me, thank the Lord. (nothing wrong with a C-section but being cut open kind of scares me to death.) My mother says I was so happy that I actually sprung my upper body out of bed and said "let's do this!" I had a new found source of energy, apparently. I don't actually remember doing that. What I do remember is I was starving and had a random pain in my ribs but none of that mattered. I was about to meet my baby girl. In the back of my mind I was still nervous about her being a month early but I knew God was in control. I said a quick prayer that she would be ok.

Things got a little crazy at this point. They definitely hadn't expected me to be this far along so soon and my Dr. was busy sewing someone up down the hall, the girl next to me was almost ready to deliver,too, and my Dr. was worried he was being called in to an emergency hysterectomy with his father, also an OB in my practice. One of my dearest friends is a L&D nurse at the hospital where I was delivering and she came in to assist so she could take my sweet daughter from my nurse after she came in to the world so she could get her cleaned up and all that jazz.

 I pushed for about 45 minutes and then, at 9:31 p.m. my Dr. held up my gorgeous, tiny, daughter. She was perfect. The cord was cut and the cord blood donation girl collected the blood.

With everything that was going on it suddenly hit me that she hadn't cried. And babies that don't cry, well there is something wrong with those babies because in the movies all the babies cry, so it should be that way in real life, right? I started to panic because she was a whole month early, what is something was really wrong? I frantically asked the doctor, while he was working on stitching me up, if she was ok. "She's fine," he assured me; "Sometimes they just don't cry." I still wasn't convinced and I felt like our nurse friend was whispering and hiding something from me. But, as it turns out, she was perfectly fine and could go straight to the regular nursery, no NICU time for her! What a blessing. They brought my baby girl to me, placed her in my arms, and I cried tears of sweet joy and relief that both she and I were healthy and safe. The love I felt in that moment for my daughter is truly indescribable. I spent a few moments just marveling at her.

My epidural began to wear off and I could feel the Dr. stitching me up, not a pleasant feeling. Off mom went to the nursery to get birth stats (5 lbs 3 ounces 18 inches long) and to tell everyone in the waiting room she had arrived! While she was gone the nurse had to start me on magnesium sulfate (aka "mag") which is something they put all high blood pressure patients on after birth so your body doesn't stroke out. It knocked me out! (There had been talk of giving it to me when I reached 5 cm but, obviously, I dilated a little too quickly for that to happen and thank God because it made me so loopy I don't think I could have given birth while on it!) However, before it knocked me out my Dr. told me he was a little concerned with the amount of bleeding I had so he would be back shortly to take me to the operating room just to make sure everything was o.k.

Normally, that would have terrified me out but I was so out of it that I just smiled and said o.k. I woke up again when they brought me to the OR and I think I have mentally blocked out the intense pain I experienced in there. I remember it being the worst pain I have ever been in but I can't exactly remember what it felt like, if that makes any sense at all. I remembered, suddenly, that my mom had no idea where I was and I tried to tell the nurse to go inform her but I was so out of it that I couldn't even form sentences, so they couldn't understand me. I just gave up.

I would later be informed that when my mom got back to my room and saw that I was gone, and was in a panic (my mother almost died during childbirth with my brother due to a rare complication). Mom says she was in tears by the time she saw the doctor sprinting down the hall from the OR to tell her I was o.k.

The next thing I remember, it was 3 am and Leighton's nursery nurse had brought her to me to nurse. I was still very out of it so when I tried to nurse her I just passed out, to which the nursery nurse said, "I'll just bring her back in a few hours." Good idea.

All in all my first birthing experience, though not ideal or at all what we were expecting, was pretty great. Leighton, you are living proof that God is still in the business of miracles. I get misty eyed sometimes just looking at you thinking how I received something so perfect out of such a scary situation.

"From the fullness of his grace we have received one blessing after another." John 1:16

 Leighton Elizabeth McGhee. February 5th, 2011 at 9:31 p.m. 5 lbs 3 ounces 18 inches long. 30 hours of labor.1 month early.

Unexpected Dr. Visit and Visitors

I am going to be very honest here and admit that the passed 9 weeks have been pretty rough for us. Not only has my sweet baby been dealing with reflux but also with severe gas pains. Not to mention she had recently scratched her eye and I was in a panic that she may have done irreparable damage to it. (she didn't, of course) I finally broke down and decided it was way worth a $20 co-pay to go ahead and take her to her Dr. last Monday (17th), even though we go to our 4 month well baby check up in just a few weeks. It had gotten that bad and this momma just can't stand to see her littlest love in pain. I decided I wasn't going to leave his office until we came up with a new game plan.

The first bit of good news was that, in spite of seemingly spitting up ALL of her milk every feeding, she had still gained 2 lbs in just 6 weeks. She weighed in at 11.3 lbs! This is great for a breast milk only baby with severe reflux.

I told Dr. M about her still spitting up a TON (which she promptly demonstrated for me as if we had planned it, that's my girl) and he decided it was time to start her on a little bit of rice cereal (just 2 teaspoons a bottle) and up her Zantac dosage a tiny bit since she had grown so much. He said if that didn't work we would be switching her to Prevacid. I was happy to have something new to try. We were going to be starting her on cereal in just a couple of weeks anyway and Dr. M assured me it was ok to go ahead and begin it.

He said she looked great as far as growth, her eye was going to be fine and commented that she was a very social baby with a great smile (she had taken the opportunity to flirt with him).

So, I went to the store and got the cereal and started her on it that evening. I have to admit I got a little emotional because, for about 12.5 months my angel baby has survived solely on what I have given her. My body gave her life in utero and kept her fed and since birth my milk had done the same. Now, there would be something other than me helping her grow and develop.

Well, she LOVES the rice cereal and has been packing on weight ever since we began it, however, she is STILL spitting up like crazy. I think Prevacid is in our very near future (as in I might fill the script TODAY!) and hopefully, that will help. We shall see. We just pray God will heal her in his time and that we will be ok with however long that takes. He is in control! Prayers for our little girl (and for our sanity) are always appreciated.

Things are not all bad, though, In fact, most of the time Leighton is SUCH a happy, sweet baby! We had two unexpected visitors that Monday night, Leighton's "Honey" and my dear high school/college friend/roommate, Kelsey! Leighton was so well behaved for the both of them, talking and smiling a lot.

                                            Kelsey and Leighton Talking and Smiling

                                             Honey and Leighton Laughing

Our First Mother's Day

My first Mothers Day was, in short, FANTASTIC!

It actually started the day before when my dear friend Julie, had her baby girl! Julie and I went through everything pregnancy related together and I was overjoyed she was going to be a mom on Mother's Day! We are so excited for you, Akins, Adalyn is beautiful! 

It started out with breakfast in bed and during breakfast I opened my sweet cards from Leighton, my own fabulous mother and my dear friend Ashley. (So sweet of you to send me a card, Ash!)

I also received some GORGEOUS flowers. And some chocolate!

Then I got to take a lonnngg hot shower without any interruptions. (All you mothers out there know what a treasure this is!)

We headed to church. Where Leighton was perfect in the nursery, once again. (This was probably the best gift!) She seems to be growing out of the "only wants mommy" phase which is bittersweet, but I am sure it's a phase that will be revisited. The church service was wonderful and it was so neat (and still, a little strange) to stand when they asked all of the mothers to do so.

After church we came home and Leighton went straight to bed because she was wonderfully exhausted (Thank you, nursery workers!)

We had lunch and then he gave me a heavenly back rub and then I was told to go outside and relax in the hammock (something I have been saying I've been longing to do, lately.) I couldn't have asked for a more relaxing, perfect Mother's Day!

It's still sometimes hard to believe I am a mother! Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of being a mother. It's the most difficult, yet rewarding thing I have ever done and I wouldn't trade it for one minute.