This is going to be the longest update I have ever posted and it’s also probably one of the most important. I had been having some swelling here in my third trimester, as you probably read if you keep up with the blog, but I thought it was just normal pregnancy swelling. Apparently, it was not. I had our two-week appointment on Monday afternoon, January 24th, and when my swelling was coupled with higher than normal blood pressure, my OB became concerned about preeclampsia, especially since the protein in my urine was higher as well. So, he sent me over to the OB triage area at our hospital to get the equipment to take home to do a 24 hr urine culture to see how high the protein really was. So, I was put on bed rest, only getting up to eat, and of course, to use the restroom. He said he’d see me again Thursday morning, as at this point he would know the results of the culture.
Thursday came and I was high on life because my swelling was almost totally gone (one of the goals we needed to reach). I had lost almost 10 lbs of swelling (crazy, right?) and I was SURE my BP and urine were going to be fine. No such luck. Blood pressure=bad. Urine=just as bad. I could tell by the look on my OB’s face that not so good news was coming so I took a deep breath. He said he was pretty sure I had a mild case of preeclampsia. He said I would not make it to my due date. He said he wanted me to go for 24 hour observation in the hospital to make sure I didn’t need to deliver that day and see if it really was a mild case. He said so many things. It was hard to hold back the tears that stemmed from fear and pregnancy hormones. I held them back pretty well, until I got in the car. And called my mother. Naturally, I lost it. Bless my poor mother, always on the receiving end of my meltdowns; she is a SAINT in my book. I was upset because I had to stay in the hospital. I hate hospitals. I was upset that my sweet baby girl who has done nothing wrong and has been perfect this entire pregnancy, was going to likely be born premature, something no parent would choose for their baby. I was terrified. “We aren’t ready,” I kept thinking. I thought we had more time. 5 or so week’s worth of time. I had a to- do list for each week up until due date week, as the queen of to- do lists would. What was I going to do now?
I raced home and through a few things together. Then I was checked in to OB triage at 10:30 a.m. I was put in a gown, gave a urine sample and started another 24 hour urine culture. They took lots of blood, inserted an IV, fed me, and hooked me up to fetal monitors and a blood pressure machine. The BP machine took my BP every 15 min and the fetal monitors monitored Leighton’s heart rate constantly. I think the only thing that kept me sane during all of this craziness was the sound of her heart beating, knowing that she was still safe inside of me, for now. It’s truly amazing how much you can love someone you have yet to meet. It’s very overwhelming. Then two U/S techs came in and did the longest U/S of my life which was great because I got to watch Leighton for quite some time while they measured every bone, organ, the cord, the placenta, all the fluid, etc, to make sure my preeclampsia hadn’t slowed her growth. It hadn’t, thank goodness.
I relaxed a bit while we waited to hear if I was being transferred to a Labor and Delivery room (meaning my condition was worse than they originally thought and we were having this baby that day) or to a post-partum room to finish my observation before they would release me to go home to finish the rest of my pregnancy, however long or short that may be, on bed rest. My mom, Mark, and Hamilton came to visit for a moment as they just happened to be passing through Montgomery that day, and it was nice to have them there for a little bit. We got the news that my lab worked looked great and so did Leighton, so they unhooked me from all of the machines. The only bad thing was my pressures, so we were moving to a PP room. However, when we went to move rooms (at about 5 pm) my nurse knocked over my urine culture and spilled it all on the floor. So, we had to start over, which meant 24 hours more in the hospital. I felt like I couldn’t catch a break, though I know everything happens for a reason. My favorite text message of encouragement during the day was from my best friend, Shannon, (who is also a nurse) which read, “No sense in crying over spilled urine.” It put a smile on my face, and those were few and far between at this point.
So we moved to the new room, I ate a delicious sodium-restricted dinner and slept. Well, as much as you can sleep when they come in to take your vitals and flush your IV every few hours. My pressures were staying pretty steady, and my temp and weight always looked good.
In the morning I ate breakfast and my OB came to visit and said he was keeping me another night to finish the urine culture and observe me and that if all went well they would discharge me Sat. morning. I asked a million questions and got all answers I didn’t want to hear. I could not attend my last childbirth class nor could I attend the infant CPR class we are already signed up for. I would be unable to attend my two baby showers this weekend. I could not go have my maternity photos taken. I could not go to interview a pediatrician for my baby girl, which I was planning to do this week. My OB will not let me go past 37 weeks, since that is considered full term and they hope to get me there but basically I could deliver any day. Leighton currently weighed 4lbs 10 ounces give or take 15% for margin of error either way. Thoughts of NICU and having to leave my preemie baby at the hospital while I went home ran wild through my mind. My heart was BROKEN. I am an imperfect person and while I wanted to be strong, I broke down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was all, “This just isn’t fair. Why me? Why my sweet, perfect little girl?”
They took me to do a non-stress test on Leighton, to listen to her heart for a little while. Since she’s quite the strong mover (always has been) it took longer than usual but she looked perfect, as always. While I lay there in the dark room by myself listening to only the sound of her heart beat, I talked to God for the first time that day. As I said, I am an imperfect person and I was angry. I told him that. I think he understood. I was angry that this sweet angel He created had done nothing wrong and was probably going to come in to the world too weak and too frail, how could He let that happen? Then he reminded me that I once was even weaker than my baby girl is right now.
This was when sin and evil were all that my life consisted of. Before I came to know Him on a personal level and accept him in to my heart. Had He not saved me? Of course, He did. He came in to my heart and made me stronger the very instant I asked Him too, as a six year old little girl. And each day I cultivate my relationship with Him, I become that much stronger. A peace came over me as I realized God was telling me that He was taking care of everything. He had a plan. Leighton’s birth plan. He has known it from the beginning, every detail. I'd even told people I thought making a birth plan was silly because God already knew her birth plan so I was just going to take everything as it came, but I was going against what I thought I had so firmly believed. I didn’t really trust his plan. I realized this and I was reminded that He had never left me or forsaken me and he wasn’t going to do that to my daughter, either. I realized how blessed we were to be 35 weeks pregnant instead of 30. Or 22. Or 12. So, I changed my attitude from gloomy to grateful. I decided that this world, especially Jeremy's and my world, was going to be so much better with her in it so anytime she and Jesus and the doctors decided it was time for her to come, that was ok with me. On my way back to my room I asked the nurse wheeling me around to stop in front of the NICU door so I could say a prayer for all of the babies inside fighting to get stronger.
The rest of the day was spent in bed resting, having my vitals checked, and collecting urine, until 5 p.m. The night time looked pretty much the same. My pressures were looking good in the fact that they were staying steady. Saturday morning I just knew the OB on call from my office was going to let me go home. It all depended on that urine. He came and said that while my pressures looked good my protein in my urine was up again, meaning I could be getting worse. He wanted to do blood work again and if that had also gotten worse it would mean the preeclampsia was affecting my other organs and they would need to induce immediately so I didn’t get any sicker, he didn’t want this to become life-threatening, as severe preeclampsia can be. However, if my blood work came back fine we would do yet another 24 hour urine culture, see if the protein stayed about the same or got worse. If it stayed the same they would send me home, if it got worse, probably would induce. So, they did the blood work, and sent me off for another non stress test on Leighton. As always, my precious daughter was just fine. I was praying the whole time that the Lord would give me a peace with whatever His plan was.
When I got back to my room I learned the plan was that Leighton got to at least spend one more day in my belly because the blood work was just fine, meaning none of my other organs had been effected by the preeclampsia so far. So, we started another 24 hour urine culture. Had the same kind of day as we had been having, vitals checked often, lots of staying in bed, same goes for the nighttime.
Sunday, I was taken to do yet another non stress test on Leighton. All was well. Then we just had to sit and wait for the OB on call to let us know how the 24 hour urine culture turned out. It felt like it took forever but finally the nurse came in and told us my numbers had stayed about the same so, Praise the Lord, Leighton got to spend another day in mommy’s belly. However, we did not get the o.k. to go home. The OB on call wanted me to wait until Monday morning until my own doctor could make that decision. So, once again, we were sitting and waiting, staring at the same 4 walls. My blood pressure stayed steady all day and night. I stayed alone in the hospital and prayed for more good news the next day.
Early this morning my OB came in and said everything looked great with my lab work and my pressures were excellent (as in close to my normal range) all night so could I do this at home? He wanted to be sure that I could do the bed rest at home without being around a bunch of stuff that would stress me out. I assured him I thought I could and I’d like to try. I’m not sure how much he trusts me because he still wants to see me in his office tomorrow but hey, I’ll take one day in my own bed over none. And while I was excited to be going home, the better news is my baby girl gets another day to bake inside mommy. At this point we are just milking time. Every day she is still in my belly is a blessing and we will take it, as long as I am still healthy enough to support us both.
So, it’s still a numbers game every day, keeping her heart rate, my blood pressure, my other organs, and my protein levels all steady without much change. PLEASE continue to pray for us. We have a long road ahead, even if it’s just one more day. Prayer is what we need the most. So many people have been checking on us, bringing us food, offering to do anything at all. We appreciate that SO much more than you know. We know the power of prayer works. We are under no illusions that the only reason we sit here at 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant with our daughter still inside her mommy is because of Jesus Christ. He hears all of your prayers and THAT is what we need the most, now more than ever. Optimistically we are still just trying to get me to 36-37 weeks unless something drastic happens.
I would like to make a final note that I have yet to actually feel bad while in the hospital. It’s a weird feeling to be told you are sick but feel like you could run a marathon. Ok, ya’ll know I wouldn’t actually run a marathon (I only run if I am being chased), but heck, I felt like I could at least go home and finish my Daughter’s nursery, ya know? I never had some of the other symptoms of preeclampsia like spotted vision, headaches, upper gastric pain, right abdominal pain, nothing. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with preeclampsia, there is no rhyme or reason as to who gets it. It affects about 10% of pregnancies and they have no idea why. It has nothing to do with your diet, stress level, etc. So, there is no way to predict/prevent it. They have found that it’s usually more prevalent in first pregnancies and say there is only a 10% chance you’ll have it again in a second or subsequent pregnancy.
God Bless you all for your prayers, thoughts, encouragement, meals, gifts, etc. We are truly BLOWN AWAY at all of the incredible, loving people God has surrounded us with. You could never know how much you mean to us. We will try to keep everyone updated as best we can!
UPDATE: Yesterday's appointment went as good as could be expected. My pressure was up again but my OB and I both knew it was because I had to get up out of bed and get ready, get to the OB office, etc. I was moving around more than when I am on bed rest, obviously, so that made my BP spike. He said the protein in my urine was still the major concern, of course. So he wanted me to go pick up some more equipment to do another 24 hr culture and have another non-stress test on Leighton, to make sure she was still doing fine. I went over to triage and they hooked me up to the fetal monitors again and we listened to her heartbeat for a while. She was still just fine! They also hooked me up to the BP monitor while I was laying there, and what do you know, my pressures kept climbing down, the last reading very close to my normal BP range. So, the gave me my equipment and let me go home. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be in my own bed another day.
I will take my sample back to triage at 11:30 today. My OB said he wanted to see me again on Friday (36 weeks!!) at 10:30 unless something drastic changed between now and then, as in my symptoms worsen (I have to make sure I don't get a headache unrelieved by Tylenol, upper epigastric pain, blurry vision, etc.) So far, so good. The last time I did a urine culture at home I was never called with the results, I just waited until my appointment for my OB to tell me anything so I assume that's how it will go this time, unless my numbers are dangerously high. We are SO hoping to make it to 36 weeks, it just sounds much better than 35. Optimistically, they were hoping to get us to 37 weeks but with my protein as high as it is, I am personally not expecting to make it that far and am at peace with that , but I promise we will keep everyone updated.
Please continue to pray for us, God is listening and we have thrown all of our trust in him and are still very much at peace with whenever he decides to bring Leighton Elizabeth in to the world.Thank you for all of your encouraging messages of love, support, prayers, and sharing similar experiences and how they turned out positively. I am hoping to respond to them all but if I can't please know that I have read each and every one and have loved and appreciated them all far more than words can express!
