Four.

 Today, Four years ago, I said "I Do" to this handsome groom:

Today, we have been married for Four years. (Together for Eleven 1/2) I remember our beautiful, and as close to perfect as it gets, Wedding Day like it was yesterday. I could write a hundred blog posts about that day but, what my once 9 year old little girl self (who was entirely too obsessed with Disney Fairytales) never realized is that it's not about the wedding. It's about the marriage. And marriage is not always flowers and exotic trips and surprise gifts, and bubble baths, and champagne and romantic dinners (although I am pleased to say our marriage has had a healthy helping of all of that). However, that's just not what real love is all about. So, if there are any 9 year olds reading this, kidding not 9, (if you are 9 and you are reading this on the IPhone you got way too early in life, stop! And go outside and ride your bike) but maybe some teens out there reading this, let me tell you what real love actually looks like.

For me, real love has become less about those things listed above and more about the fact that Jeremy has held my hair back while I threw up all night long (several times, and on one especially happy occasion hauled my 7 months pregnant self and not quite 2 year old daughter to the hospital at 3 a.m. because he feared I had lost too many fluids, and never once complained.) Love is the hands that gripped mine for dear life as I bore down and brought both of our beautiful babies in to the world, one a little too early (terrifying) and one with very little pain management (likely even more terrifying). Love is the eyes that have seen my deepest, ugliest sin (and I, his) that still choose to forgive and love. Love is the arms that have taken turns holding one another as we sobbed uncontrollably when we lost loved ones. Love is the mouth that still kisses me goodbye every morning even when I have morning breath, and tells me I'm beautiful when I look like something the cat drug in. Love is watching him get up at night when a baby cries out so that I won't have to this time because they are his babies, too. Or, holding a baby all night/day long so that I could get some sleep. Love is the man who takes off work to help you out when you are just completely overwhelmed with life's demands. Love is a man that deals with your crazy family drama like a champ (and never ever actually calls them crazy, though he might be thinking it.) Love is a man that changes poopy diapers. Love looks at you and his babies like you hung the moon and the sun and the stars. Love is a man who knows God actually hung all that stuff and leads your family towards Him every day.

Love is all of this and more. Because we don't live in a Disney movie. Where you get married and ride off in to the sunset in a horse drawn carriage to a castle where everything is always perfect. No, we live here, in the real world. That's why the vows say, "In SICKNESS and in health. "In plenty and in WANT." "For better or for WORSE." Because life is hard. Tough things happen. And superficial love won't weather the storms that are coming (and believe me they will come). But real, unconditional love, the kind you make a choice to show to your spouse every day no matter the circumstances, this is the kind of love you want. The kind I have with my hubby. We have weathered some really rough times, those listed above and so many more, yet here we stand. Beaten up a little and worn down but still together, more in love today with God, each other, and our children than we ever thought possible. Thank you baby, for NOT being the kind of "love" I thought I wanted as a 9 year old little girl, but being so much better than that. Every day with you is the best Fairytale and the greatest love story I could have ever hoped for. Happy 4 Years! And many more!

 

Life With Leighton and Asher Today

Well, it's been 4, yes 4, whole months since we held the most adorable baby boy in our arms. He's still adorable and he will always be my baby boy. The last four months with our precious new addition have gone by entirely too quickly. The first four months with Leighton seemed very long but I guess it was because she was our only and we could just spend every waking moment focused on every little thing about her. Now that there are two of them, life is crazy, but beautiful, and flying by. I already miss those first couple of weeks when he was tiny (Ok, so he was never really "tiny" as he was 8 lbs at birth, but you know what I mean.) Now, let's catch up on the last 4 months, shall we? I'll try not to be too long winded.

ASHER- 4 Months

• Ever since we brought Asher home 48 hours after birth, he has fit in with our family seamlessly. It's like he has been here forever. He has been a sweet and happy baby since day one. He eats and sleeps well and rarely cried unless he is gassy or hungry. 
• He was NOT a fan of his first bath but has come to really enjoy them. I am so glad. Leighton LOVED bath time and still does. I can't wait until he is old enough to sit up and take baths with his sister. 
• He loves ceiling fans. Easily entertained. Such a boy. 
• He makes the MOST adorable noise after he sneezes. One day I will get it on video. 
• He was born with a tongue tie. This made it impossible to nurse him after he really "woke up" (not a super sleepy newborn.) So we switched to formula at a month old. I was devastated at first but now I am glad. He is happy and healthy. It is so much easier to get out and go places, especially with a 2 year old, with a bottle. I made myself crazy pumping for 6 months with Leighton and I had made a promise to Jeremy that I wouldn't do that again. Jeremy and I were FF and I think we turned out just fine. It was the best decision for our family. I thought I'd be doing Asher a disservice but now I really see that it was Leighton I did a disservice too. I am so much happier and can spend more time playing with my babies now that I'm not tied to a breast pump and the baby that wants to nurse for an hour at a time. I know breast is best and I encourage all mothers to do it if they can but it doesn't make you a bad mother, by any means, if it's not for you for whatever reason. 
• We had his tongue tie clipped when he was 6 weeks old. There are two sides/opinions on tongue ties. Some say that it doesn't cause any issues with eating or speech. Others say it causes significant issues with both. Since I had already seen that his had caused issues with eating (nursing) we decided it was best to go ahead and clip it and eliminate any fear that it would cause issues with his speech later in life. It was a hard decision because they don't give any type of anesthesia. The literally just clip it with surgical scissors. He was such a brave boy, though. He barely cried for half a minute. He ate his bottle just fine and fell asleep.
• He loves his swing and his paci.Just like big sister. Unlike his sister, he also loves the bouncer seat which is where you can be sure to find him if mommy and sissy are in the shower. 
• He loves to snuggle on mommy or daddy. I take all of the cuddle time I can get.
• He is very smiley and chatty. Such a happy baby. He will babble and smile pretty much the entire time he is awake. His smiles absolutely melt me. He smiled pretty early- about 5 weeks old. 
• He is eating 6-8 ounces at every feeding. He eats 4 times a day now. 
• He sleeps between 10-11 hrs a night and has since 9 1/2 weeks old. YAY! We are still establishing a good nap pattern during the day but are getting there! 
• He can follow objects with his eyes. He loves tummy time and pushing up on his arms. He has been holding his head up really well since just a week or so old. He rolled from front to back at 3 months. 
• He is a great car rider. We have traveled A LOT since his birth and he has been pretty perfect every time. 
• He rarely spits up. Such a huge change from big Sis, who threw up everything she ate. I told Jeremy the other day "I think I bought way too many burp cloths." But we went through several a day with Leighton and I wanted to be prepared. 
• He has been wearing a size 2 diapers since just 2 months. We will probably have to switch to a size 3 after we use up these last 2s. I think Leighton was between 4-6 months before she wore size 2. Amazing what 3 extra weeks in the womb does. 
• His 4 month apt is tomorrow so I am not sure what his weight/height is yet but I think he's probably pushing 16 lbs. 
• He loves to play with toys already, especially his Sophie and the toy bar on his car seat. 
• He is obsessed with Leighton. He follows her every move and smiles the biggest at her. I sure hope they will stay close throughout their lives. 
• I love him SO much. The bond between a mother and daughter is incredible. So is the bond between mother ands son. They are very different bonds. The saying "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for life," comes to my mind every day. I know one day my baby boy will replace me with a wife and it breaks my heart. This precious baby boy is my undoing. I pray for his future wife several times a day.

LEIGHTON- 2 1/2 Years

• I can't even believe we celebrated Leighton's 1/2 birthday yesterday (a tradition in our family.) Where did my baby go? 2 1/2 years goes by SO fast.
•  Leighton is in LOVE with her "brubber." She mostly calls him "brubber." Sometimes she calls him baby, Asher, or just boy. Ha! She throws away his dirty diapers for me, plays "this little piggy" with his toes, talks and sings to him, puts his paci back in for me when he cries. She covers him in kisses. She prays for him at night. She holds him. She always asks to carry him but shes not quite big enough for that. She offers him everything shes drinking or eating even though he, of course, can't have any of it. She tells me when he's crying and consoles him by saying "it's ok brubber, you're fine!" She "helps" me burp him. She loves to say "give me a smile," "he's smiling at you," and "he loves you." (Things she has heard us say.) If she hears him crying in his crib she'll say "Brubber's crying, I go check on him. I be right back" 
• She has the most ridiculous vocabulary. I can't go anywhere without someone asking "How old is she? Three? Because she speaks so well for her age." They are always amazed when I say she's just two. 
• She's also very tall for her age but I suppose our kids don't have a choice but to be tall.
• She LOVES to sing. She knows more songs than I can count and will always tell you which ones she wants to sing. She especially loves her SEEDS Family Worship songs.We have all the CDs and she has one whole CD memorized. That means she has 12 bible verses memorized. That's more than some adults I know.
• She has all of her letters memorized by sight. She gets K and X mixed up occasionally. We are now working on sounds. 
• She has all of her basic colors memorized and knows her left from right. 
• She loves clothes and shoes and always tells us we look "bootiful" when we get dressed.
• She loves to brush her teeth herself and get dressed and undressed herself. 
• We converted her crib to a toddler bed a few months ago and she loves it. She never gets out of it after we put her in it, even in the morning. I have to physically get her out of it. I know it won't last forever but I am happy that's the way it's been going since she is upstairs in our new house. 
• She loves to swing and swim and do anything outdoors.
• She can be super silly like daddy and super serious like mommy (although, I definitely have my silly moments). I love her both ways.
• She still LOVES to read. She memorized her first book a couple of months ago. 
• Her favorite shows are Sesame Street, Super Why, Sophia the First, Doc McStuffins, and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. 
• We have cut her nap down to an hr a day. Otherwise she doesn't sleep as well/long at night. I am holding out on the nap at least until she's old enough to understand "play quietly in your room until mommy comes to get you." I have to have that time to myself to get some things done around the house.
• She loves to eat. Shes big on fruit, a few vegetables, pasta, rice, bread, pizza. She's definitely my child. She's not big on meat at all. We can get her to eat turkey, hot dogs, and an occasional piece of chicken (like chicken breasts that I make at home) but that's it. I think she's the only 2 year old that could care less about chicken nuggets. 
• She enjoyed MMO this summer two days a week. She will start 4 days a week mid-August. Jeremy and I decided this would be best for her. She will learn more, interact with other kids her age more, get over her mild separation anxiety better and I will get more time with my little man.

The last 4 months have been filled with weddings, baby showers, birthdays, a surgery for Jeremy,and doing fun things with our kiddos. Jeremy and I have even gone on a few dates without the kids. We are looking forward to our nephew's birthday this weekend, our family beach trip at the end of the month, and our Anniversary trip in October. I fall more in love with my babies and husband every day and we have really settled in to a family of 4 beautifully. I can't wait to see what the future holds for the four of us. I promise I will post some pictures soon, but I only have an hour to type (naptime) remember? My afternoons and evenings are spent with my family and at the gym. You'll just have to take my word that the babies are still as beautiful as ever (or just look at my Facebook). 

Eleven

Darling,

It's been 11 years since I was riding to Bible Study with my best guy friend. We were belting out whatever oldie was playing on the radio like we always did. It's been eleven years since I looked over at you from that passenger seat and realized that I was in love with you. Head over heels, crazy, I want to marry you love. I remembered feeling so confused as to how that happened and why. All of the sudden, I knew. I just knew you were it for me that very day, at the ripe old age of 15. I was worried about ruining our friendship if I told you, but missing out on you if I didn't. There was also the fact that I had dated your best friend. Then there was that tiny detail that you were six years older than me and I knew people would judge, because they wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand that it wasn't about the one thing they would think it was about. That wouldn't be happening until we were married.

I was a wreck all night at bible study, not myself at all. Of course, you noticed. It's been eleven years since you drove me back home and, when we pulled in the driveway, demanded to know what was wrong with me. You were worried about me because of some things going on in my family at the time. I promised you it had nothing to do with that but you wouldn't let it go. It's been eleven years since we took that walk, we loved to take walks together, still do. We walked. And caught fireflies. And you waited patiently for me to tell you what was on my mind and why I was acting so strangely. We reached the end of my street and you took my hand. You had held it before, but not like this. This time, something was different. I looked up in to your eyes and I knew what I had to do. I had to tell you. I couldn't risk never knowing. It's been eleven years since I admitted to you that I was in love with you. And it's been eleven years since you let me know you felt the same way.

I have over eleven years of memories with you. That's 4,015 days of memories, plus some. Most are beautiful memories, (some that stick out- our first date, the meteor shower; the anniversary scavenger hunt; jumping off the bridge at the beach; dancing "our dance";11 birthdays, Valentines Days, New Years Eve kisses, Christmases, Thanksgivings; you putting my initials on your car tag; the night you proposed; Disney World; our unbelievably perfect wedding day (and night); our amazing honeymoon in St Lucia; NYC; the births of the two most incredible babies that both look so much like you- just to name a few) and 
some are not (6 funerals of loved ones between the two of us; long distance relationship woes; our month-long break up in college; and other really rough times). That's the way 11 years goes. But it doesn't matter if we are going through a beautiful season or a tough one, one thing has remained constant for 11 years and will for every day that God keeps me on this earth; I love you. As madly and as passionately as I did 11 years ago and it has grown stronger with each passing day. I am so proud to be the one on your arm, handsome, because of the husband and father God has molded you in to. I've witnessed Him work miracles in your life and in our marriage. It's obvious you are allowing Him to work in you daily. I adore you. I respect you. I love us. I cherish these last 11 years and look forward to at least 60 more.

I'll end with the quote I wrote in your letter on our wedding day, one of my favorites from the movie "Shall We Dance." "We all need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things...all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.'" I am SO honored to be your witness and to have you as mine. 143 Baby. Forever and Always.

" I have found the one that my soul loves." Song of Solomon 3:4 


-Wifey 

Here are some photos of us from 2006-2013. The Photos from '02-'05 are not digital and I don't have the time to scan them and such. Our children will think it's wild that we are older than digital cameras. Maybe we will save all of those pics for another time (or maybe not, those were during some of our awkward years!) Once again, blogger got many of them out of order, oh well.